A cruel way to find out about a death

Tuesday night, hubby went into work to answer phones and put the paper together. About half an hour later, he is back home and asked to talk to me upstairs away from the kids. My first thought was what happened? Did he lose his job? What is going on?

Well, he tells me that when he went to work he felt the need to look his dad up online. What he found was his dad's obituary. His dad died 3 WEEKS AGO. There was no phone call from his step mom, no letter, no nothing. Bill called his mom and told her and I could hear the disbelief in his mom's voice. We forwarded her the obituary.

There is no mistake. It is his dad, as it had his dad's picture on the funeral homes website along with the obituary. While reading the obituary, there is no mention of Bill (who was his dad's only child) or the grandkids.

I feel so bad for my husband. Yes he did not have a great relationship with his dad, but we always sent Christmas cards with the kids pictures in them and usually got a Christmas card back. His father did not approve of our marriage because I was Catholic and we were planning and are raising our children in the Catholic church. I remember when Bill called him to tell him of our engagement those were the only 2 questions his dad had and then he didn't want to talk to him again.

I asked Bill several years ago, if when his dad passed away if he would want to go to the funeral. At the time he said no, but he confessed last night that if he would have known, he would have flown out to Texas to be at the service.

I think he is still in shock and he is angry that his father's wife did not call or anything. That to me is cruel.

Comments

  1. I am so sorry that your father in law's wife did not contact the family. That is incredibly selfish. Even if Bill and his dad weren't on great terms....Bill had the right to know, and not from a computer screen, and certainly not 3 weeks later.

    I am very sorry for your loss....

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    1. Thanks Mysti. It is incredibly selfish and I still don't understand...

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  2. Oh, I'm so so sorry... That is so sad. My condolences to Bill!!

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  3. How awful! I am so sorry for you all. I am only happy that Bill has such a wonderful wife to lean on in times like these. And yes, that is a totally inappropriate way to find out and quite cruel. Thoughts and prayers for you all!

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    1. Thanks Erin. I hope I have been supportive of him like he needs.

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  4. Yup, that's cruel alright. Also unbelievable anyone could be that unfeeling. Some folks nurse grudges all their lives - what a waste of time. So sorry he has to go through this - thank God he has an amazing family to help him.

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    1. Thanks Jane. I don't understand why people have to nurse grudges either....it is a shame.

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