My Job Saga

Happy Monday everyone! It's the beginning of another work week. I will say that for the first time in a long time I am looking forward to going to work. It has been a long time since I have felt like that. 

My work life has been on a roller coaster. As many of you know, I worked part time as a cafeteria worker in our local school district prior to my marriage falling apart. When we split, I had to find a new full time job and quickly. I was blessed to be able to find a preschool teaching job rather quickly. The pay was okay, but there were basically no benefits beyond a week's vacation when I had been there a year. Even mandatory trainings were done at a lower rate of pay than when I was in the classroom.  

Well, when I was hired on I was hired by the new owner, except the ownership hadn't changed hands yet. I was told it would happen by the end of August. Okay. I was brought in to bring more academics into the Pre-K program. I was given NO training time and was basically put into the classroom on the first day with no direction, except to play with the kids. I was also warned that there were some kids with trauma issues, like being in foster care, having single moms, etc. Again no training whatsoever. 

As time went on, the new owner and the old owner would give me mixed messages about what needed to be done. The new owner wanted me to have a set schedule with focus on academics. The old owner wanted everything to be a choice for the kids. It was so annoying. I would come home exhausted dealing with behavior issues that no one seemed to want to deal with. Apparently it was perfectly acceptable for kids to hit, kick and throw things at the teachers. It was perfectly acceptable for kids to hit each other, push each other, etc and nothing was done. Kids were allowed to refuse to do any work whatsoever and there was no reprimand. I would write out behavior reports that parents would sign, but nothing ever came of them. Some kids were getting them daily and were allowed to remain in the program. I had no support from the front office. The new owner spent all her time in the office and never helped in the classrooms. There was no support at all. I was supposed to have an assistant, but they kept pulling her to cover other rooms as we were short staffed. However, the old owner would not allow the new owner to hire anyone else. It was a mess. 

But I stuck with it. Even after I had several people tell me that I needed to find something else. The old owner would cut hours and complain if we went over our time. I had told them when I was hired that I need 40 hours a week since I was a single mom. I would get scheduled for 35. I was yelled at in front of my 4 year olds that I was in overtime (which wasn't true) because I stayed 15 minutes over a shift to talk to a parent about a behavior issue. I was made to feel like crap.  

This all came to a head a few weeks ago. I had a child who was definitely a trauma kid. We shall call him M. M had spent time in foster care and would spend time with his biological mom, his dad (when he didn't cancel visits, which was a lot of the time) and his foster mom. He had a lot of anger and wanted to be in charge and in control all the time. He also had a tendency to scream and run. He would refuse to do something just because he didn't want to do it. He was actually a very smart boy, but wanted to be in complete control. He started to get more violent, throwing toys at other kids, tackling other kids, knocking over bookshelves, destroying our class quiet corner, hitting teachers, etc. Each day was getting worse. When M started this behavior on Thursday, I was told, oh it was because his father had cancelled on him again. Then on Friday it continued and another excuse was given. On Monday, it continued and his mom was called and my boss made the excuse that it was because he was hungry and was afraid to go to kindergarten. (This mom was seeing similar behavior at home and was trying to get M into a doctor who would be willing to help diagnose him with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, which she believed he has as his older brother had similar personality issues and had that diagnosis. However, her doctors were refusing as there was no documentation. I offered to give her copies of the MANY behavior reports that we had.) My boss' response for any behavior issues was to give the child who is in trouble food of some sort (Usually chips), let them play games on a tablet in the office, or ask them if they have to go the bathroom. On Tuesday of that week, M's behavior began even before he made it to the classroom. I got to work at 8 (because they shortened my hours again) and signed in and got the 3 of my kiddos that were already there. He was one of them and we went down the steps to our classroom. At the bottom of the steps, M took his bookbag and chucked it at the kid behind him because as he said "He looked at me weird." The mother of the child who was hit with the bookbag was standing behind me and was upset. This was the beginning of the end. 

Once inside my classroom, I asked M to apologize to the child he hit and then go to the calm down area. He refused and instead knocked over a bookcase and threw a castle across the room. He then proceeded to destroy my calm down area, throwing pillows around the room. The mom whose child he had hit, decided to take her child home with her that day after we couldn't get a hold of my boss. I texted my boss and asked her for help as my assistant had been pulled to be in a different classroom. 20 MINUTES LATER, I get a text back that said "M must have a heavy heart today. Just be his friend." I was done. I immediately texted the actual owner and the new owner and said I needed help NOW and sent them video of what M was doing. A half an hour later, my assistant came down and told me to go take a few minutes to decompress. (My assistant also was getting this same behavior and was sick of the lack of help. She actually left for a different job at the end of that week. I still am in contact with her!) I still hadn't gotten a response from either the new owner or the old owner. 

I went up to the office and asked my boss, who was in the office looking up preschool stuff on facebook when I came in!, what I was supposed to do. She got very defensive and asked what I wanted to be done. I told her I needed help. She said well, I have 12 years of training for dealing with these kids and I replied that I didn't so I needed guidance. Her response was that she had me signed up for a training class towards the end of December. When I said how is that going to help me now, she proceeded to say that she didn't know what I wanted. She also proceeded to tell me that maybe it was MY emotional state that was causing M to act out. I sat there dumbfounded by what she said. It was absolutely ridiculous. (Other coworkers overheard this and couldn't believe she had said that to me.) Basically she told me to go on break and she would take care of it. Well, she sent another teacher down to my room and when I came back from break, that teacher told me that she had to hold M down to get him to calm down and that he needed a one-on-one aide and therapy. She showed me where he had hit her and left a mark. I actually left work early that day as I started not feeling well. I had an awful headache and my stomach was hurting. I was afraid that I was coming down with the stomach bug that was going around the center. 

I was sick as a dog for the next 3 days. It was bad. No energy. Body aches. Extreme headache. I tested negative for Covid. I think it was just my body was so worn down by work that it was just spent. Emotionally I was worn down and felt defeated. Everytime I thought about going back into that building, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I have never quit a job without giving notice, but I did to this one. The relief I felt when I made that phone call was like a thousand pounds was off my shoulders. I was scared because I didn't have anything else lined up but it was what had to be done. 

That week that I was off, I sent out many resumes. Within a day I had 4 different interviews lined up. One of the resumes I sent out was a cold resume to our county Head Start program. They didn't have any job listings on their website, but I felt called to send in my resume non-the-less. The next day, I was called in for an interview and come to find out the head of HR knew my family as her daughter had gone to school with my brother and she attends my church. She said she got my resume and then 10 minutes later, she had a resignation from someone in her inbox. Needless to say, I was offered the job of a teacher's assistant which is a full time, 40 hour a week job that pays more than what I was making at the other center, offers paid time off, mileage, life insurance, among other benefits. I said yes to that job. 

It is a night and day difference. Everyone at Head Start is so helpful. My boss, who is the center manager and lead teacher, is always asking me if I need help. After my first day with the kids, both she and the nutritionist at our center told me that I have a such a calming effect on the kids. (They didn't know why I left the last center. Oh, how I wish I could have recorded them saying that and sent it me my old boss.) The kids in our center are great and willing to learn. Our education coordinator has assigned me trainings to do and has told me NOT to do them on my own time, but to do them on company time so that I will be paid for them. (This is in contrast to my old job, that made me do lesson plans and trainings on my own time if I didn't have time to do them during the school day which I didn't.) I truly believe this was where I was supposed to be. 

I will say that I do miss a few of the kiddos from the old center. I actually saw one of them at Benjamin's orchestra concert as this child's brother is also in orchestra. He was so excited to see me and he told me that the bruise he had on his forehead was from M had kicked him in the head. So I see some things haven't changed. According to this child's mom, the old owner is now in charge of my old classroom and there have been some alarming things happening that is making her look for a preschool elsewhere for her son. It is really sad. (Oh, and the new owner still has not taken over. I am beginning to think it will never happen.) 

So that is my job saga. I am on a greater path. And as such I need to get ready to go to work for the day. I hope everyone has a good Monday? Have you ever quit a job without notice? Have you ever dealt with toxic bosses? Would you have done the same if you were in my situation?