Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Thanksgiving was weird

So Thanksgiving 2019 has come and gone. It was a weird day all around. As most of my blog readers know my parents have custody of my 15 year old niece and my 8 year old nephew. They got them in February of this year. Life has been challenging for my parents and honestly things are not getting easier. In fact in a lot of ways things are rougher. I say that to say that this Thanksgiving was just weird and not in a good way. 




The day started out great. I had to run to Kroger to get candles for Rebecca's birthday pie and a can of whipped cream. I was in and out as I was there at 7AM. When I got back home, I woke Rebecca up and wished her happy birthday. She wanted to help me put the turkey in the oven. I had to laugh as she about vomited when I pulled the neck out of the turkey. LOL After I got the turkey in the oven, the kids watched the Macy's Day parade, I made Rebecca her birthday waffles that she requested and we just kind of hung out and gave Rebecca her birthday presents. 




Then it was time to go to my parent's house. When I got there my mom was in tears doing dishes and she wouldn't tell me what was going on. Apparently my niece had broken an end table and my sister said that was what caused my mom to break down. My gut is telling me that there was more to it than that. Dinner was tense and my mom kept saying she was done and wasn't cooking anymore etc.





After everyone ate, the kids went outside to play while I did dishes and my brother dried them and put them away. I cleaned up the kitchen, put all the food away, etc. Just as I was getting ready to tell the kids to come in to do pumpkin birthday pie for Rebecca, Ben came in to tell me that my niece broke Jacob's glasses. I went outside and they had been playing in a pile of leaves. According to Ben and my nephew, Ben and Jacob were wrestling in the leaves having fun and my niece came over and threw a ball at Jacob's face 3 times hitting him. The 3rd time it broke his glasses. His lens (which is a bifocal lens) was missing in the leaves. Thankfully I found it but was unable to get it back into the frames. This is the second time in as many outings that she has thrown something at Jacob's face at a family gathering. Last time she threw a rock at this face and hit him just above the glasses. I was furious. My brother, her father, didn't say anything and I am just done with the drama. 

We did end up having Rebecca's pie and she got her gifts from my parents. We left shortly after. We had to take my brother home as he doesn't have a vehicle. It was out of our way but I had already promised that I would take him home. Needless to say the drive was silent and tense. When we got home I told Bill that I was ready to not go over there next year. I am done with the stress. Thankfully, Bill was able to take Jacob to Walmart on Friday and they were able to fix his glasses. When I talked to my dad on Sunday, he said that my mom had spent most of the weekend in bed as she wasn't feeling good. 

I don't know. I just know that Thanksgiving 2019 was weird.  

17 comments:

  1. Oh that poor kid. She needs counseling....imagine the turmoil, and she sees your intact nuclear family and takes her built up anger out on a defenseless kid. She definitely needs help and stability! Praying for your family.

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  2. Do not let this keep your mother away from your family. It will just hurt her more. The girl needs help and someone needs to watch the children like a hawk to keep things from happening. I can understand how this affects your mother. She needs relief. Get that girl some help. She will really hurt a kid some day. I would have said something to the brother.

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  3. Your niece needs help! Whatever happened that led to your parents having custody must be the reason for this. I hope your brother and your parents will make the effort to get her help, so she can learn to deal with her anger in ways that don’t involve hurting people. I also don’t understand your brother’s passivity.

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  4. I am so sorry. Your niece, and most likely nephew, plus parents need help. This is too much for older people to take on alone, and it will just get harder without the support. I think you are wise to rethink how you spend your immediate family's precious time on holidays. You can leave the drama, and support at times that are less tense.

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  5. Rachel I am sorry what your family is going through. Your mom isn't going to last much longer if she doesn't get help with the kids. Do they have a social worker who knows what is happening and can get your niece and nephew the help they need? Your brother and sil are no help at all.

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  6. Even in the best of times my parents believed that once one became head of one's own household, married or single, have children or not, that it was important for one to establish one's own household traditions, particularly on the holidays. If that meant staying in one's own home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so be it, no explanations necessary. Going forward, I intend to make sure my kids understand this. As head of household, you (and your husband) have every right to decide where to go and what to do on the holidays--and any other time, for that matter, no explanations necessary.
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