Feeling snubbed

Last weekend we received an invitation in the mail that I had been expecting. However, it was not the exact type of invitation that I was expecting.

I have a friend that is getting married on March 1.  This person I consider a close friend. She was the first person outside of the doctor and nurses and Bill and I to hold Benjamin after he was born. She spent more time at the hospital when I had Benjamin with me, than my own parents did. I would trust her with my kids in a heartbeat.

I have known about the upcoming wedding since last year. We were sent an engagement announcement. Rebecca and I are invited to her upcoming bridal shower. We apparently are NOT invited to the actual wedding. Instead we are invited to the reception only.

What the....?

I don't get it. I am feeling kind of snubbed, especially after I found out that several people that I thought were not as good friends with her have been invited to both the wedding and the reception. There are over 100 people invited to both and another 100 to the reception only. Both wedding and reception are taking place at the same place on the same day.

We will go...but I am feeling snubbed. It just seems wrong to me...I feel that the wedding is the most important part and not the reception. I don't know. I know it is her wedding, but it just rubs me the wrong way.

Comments

  1. While I agree with you....here's a thought?

    Is the wedding ceremony for adults only....and knowing you have the kids, she didn't invite you to the ceremony? Since Rebecca was invited to the shower, I am assuming kids are invited to the reception. Maybe she was concerned about the noise/distraction that can happen with kids?

    Personally, either you invite someone to everything, or nothing. I think it is tacky to say "come party, but you can't watch the main event." If you truly feel snubbed, you can decline. You can send a small gift with a card and be done with it.

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    Replies
    1. There are other people going to the wedding with their kids, so I don't think it is a kid thing.
      I do think we need to go to the reception even if it irks me.....

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  2. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! Did you ask her why? It seems OK to me to ask if you are pretty close. Misty has valid points about why you might not be on the wedding guest list but I would still ask.

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    Replies
    1. I will have to ask her point blank I guess....

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  3. I understand your feelings - but perhaps you feel closer to her than she does to you. But still, I trust your instincts and wish there was a logical explanation. Perhaps it will become more clear as the event draws closer.

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  4. That is odd . .if the reverse was true (invite to church only, not reception) I would think that it was due to cost (and that would be beyond tacky-save a small reception, cake and coffee at home then) Not to invite someone to the ceremony??!!?? I've never heard of that, and aren't houses of worship considered public places? Are you of a different faith?? If this was truely a friend, I'd phone or ask point blank in person. Your feelings are rightfully hurt, just what is up?

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    1. Places of worship are considered public places and we are both the same faith (Catholic). The thing is she is not getting married in a church. Rather she is getting married in a hall...the EXACT SAME PLACE where the reception is being held.

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  5. Wow, I just realized that when our oldest go married we invited only family and really close friends to the actual ceremony and everyone to the reception, now that I think of it we probably really hurt some people without thinking about it. Forgive her and move on as I hope people forgave me.

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  6. I can understand where you're coming from, especially since *some* friends were invited and others not... when I got married it was *immediate* family only to the ceremony, and everyone to the reception as we didn't have a big wedding...

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