I can see why some people become alcoholics....

I can now see why some people can become alcoholic when dealing with a ton of stress and seeing no other way to deal. 

I have been dealing with a lot lately. 



Benjamin was diagnosed formaly with autism in October of 2014. We have been managing appointments, evaluations and theraphies since then. This has been upped since he turned 3 on April 2. Now we have added in therapies that are being done through our local school district. His schedule (which means my schedule) has become....Speech through our insurance on Mondays, occupational therapy on Tuesday, Board of DD visitation on Wednesday, physical therapy on Thursday, and Intervention OT and speech on Fridays. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out in order for us to give Benjamin the best possible foundation that we can give him. It is a struggle sometimes and I am overwhelmed but we are taking this day to day. 

As if that was not enough, we, as well as school officials, think that Jacob may also be on the spectrum, but more on the asperger's side. We are having initial testing done next week and we will go from there.  Jacob is a very bright child, however there is definitely some social behaviors that are not normal that he is exhibiting and some other nuances that have been bugging me that seem to be different behavior. 

And if THAT were not enough, my husband, at the age of 43, has been diagnosed with asperger's. To me that diagnosis only puts a name onto some of the quirks that Bill has. He is still the same person that he has been, but it helps to explain why he does and feels certain things certain ways. He has taken the diagnosis hard, but I have to remind him it does not change who he is. It just gives a name to his differences. I don't know what this means for him, but is something that we will have to work through and work with. When Bill called his mom to tell her, she denied that he was diagnosed and is in denial that he falls under the spectrum. 

I don't know what all this means, except it is adding a lot of stress to my life. These 3 men are the center of my life, along with my daughter, and I can only hope I am being the support that they need. There are times that I am frustrated, upset, anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, etc. by these diagnosis and what the future looks like. I don't know sometimes how I can handle any of this. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward because that is the only option I have. 

And if all THAT were not enough, my mother had to have a heart catherization done on Tuesday and she had to have a stent put in as one of her arteries was 95% blocked. She was very close to having her 2nd  heart attack. That scares me because I am so like her in so many ways and I know that heart disease can be hereditary.  Then you add in the everyday stress of busy job schedules and everything else and it is no wonder I am not an alcoholic. 

I am not really sure, why I am sharing all of this. I just need to get it out I guess.

Comments

  1. Oh Rachel... (((Hugs))) Sending you love & prayers!! Hang in there!

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  2. It is better to talk it out than to hold it in. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, but you will manage it because that is what wives/moms do. Take care of yourself. If you get run down, you will be no good for anyone.

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    1. It is what we as moms/wives do, isn't it? I just have a hard time of talking it out...

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  3. You certainly have a lot to deal with right now. I don't think drinking alcohol is the answer...that can become just another complication. I don't drink, but I admit, I turn to ice cream and cookies for comfort which is a different kind of addiction I guess. A nice walk on the beach is usually enough to calm me down. Writing it down, like you did here, is also a big help. There are a lot of folks walking around with Aspergers but you wouldn't know it. I think it's pretty common, but identifying it can sometimes explain a lot of things, like quirky behaviors. You have a great family. I'm sure you can tackle anything together.

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    1. I don't see myself becoming an alcoholic...I have maybe one drink every 6 months or so....but I do need to be aware of the turning to food....that is one of my vices....

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  4. I am so sorry your life is in flux right now, though the best things you can give your kids is this early intervention. At the same time I say that I understand the demands on your time are overwhelming. I agree with Frances.
    Make sure you take care of yourself (Stress can be a brutal mistress) so you can take care of them. Thinking of you

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    1. Thanks. I know in my heart these are the right moves for the kids, just overwhelmed by everything going on at once.

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  5. Is he IN the local public school preschool program? Because all of his public school interventions would be done during "school" time. Anything you wanted to do above and beyond that would be your call. When my son was in preschool...he went 5 days a week (half day), and had OT, SLP, PT, and DTI at school. We took him privately for additional OT and SLP.

    My suggestion is to call your local chapter of Autism Speaks, or Parent Advocacy Group. Let them help you manage this. Sometimes "more" is not the right answer. It can muddy the waters. Many interventions are "transdisciplanary" and able to carry over strategies from other disciplines (such as OT carrying over PT). It doesn't eliminate the discipline, but it eliminates the constant visits.

    Also, what is DD duing during their visits? Because if YOU don't think it is adding anything to the family...it is ok to cut that back. You may want to look at respite care if they offer it.

    You are overwhelmed....and anyone would be. It is ok. But is ok not not have to do it all....all the time. I say this as a mom of a child on the spectrum, and as a teacher, and someone who works in our early intervention program.......it is ok to step back a little. And that can mean whatever it is that you want it be. Maybe that means that YOU aren't doing it all. Maybe that means right now you are more focused one area, and you cut back in others.

    Also....be very careful with your daughter. Make sure she isn't forgotten in all of this. It is easy to do. Fair, and equal....are not the same. It is ok.

    It isn't always this overwhelming....it gets easier. YOU get better at it. Promise. :)

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    1. Thanks Mysti for the advice. Ben is IN the local public school system program, however since he didn't turn 3 until April 2, we did not want to put him in preschool for 2 months to then take him out for the summer. Instead, I am taking him to these appointments through the end of May, this summer he will only have speech and DD visitations 2X a month, and then in September he will be in school and getting the services through the school except for the extra speech and the DD program. We are keeping DD involved as they are helping us figure out tactics and relationship steps to work with Ben and Jacob together and how to get them to get along socially.

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  6. Feeling for you at this time Rachel. Knowing what you are dealing with is the first step. You'll get through it just don't let it consume who you are. You do the best you can/know how, every body does, no matter what they are handed.

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    1. Thank you! It does feel all consuming this week, I think that is why I was very overwhelmed. I just need to remember to take it day to day, step by step...

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  7. I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers. I would be upset, devastated, and everything else. You are a brave and strong soul.

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  8. Sounds like a ton of stress. Autism (and all it's various spectrum disorders) can be overwhelming , esp. at first when you are feeling your way. My brother has autism and he is such a wonderful person. It's just a part of him and once we figured out what he needed and when and how, we all just settled into life. Sharing your feelings and not being alone with them is a great place to start! Thinking of you!

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    1. Thanks Erin. I think I am so overwhelmed because these diagnoses have come so close together and then throwing my husband's diagnosis in there too and it just sent me over to the overwhelmed edge. It is just who they are and we will work with them and strive to help them have all the tools they need to have successful lives.

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