I can see why some people become alcoholics....

I can now see why some people can become alcoholic when dealing with a ton of stress and seeing no other way to deal. 

I have been dealing with a lot lately. 

Benjamin was diagnosed formaly with autism in October of 2014. We have been managing appointments, evaluations and theraphies since then. This has been upped since he turned 3 on April 2. Now we have added in therapies that are being done through our local school district. His schedule (which means my schedule) has become....Speech through our insurance on Mondays, occupational therapy on Tuesday, Board of DD visitation on Wednesday, physical therapy on Thursday, and Intervention OT and speech on Fridays. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out in order for us to give Benjamin the best possible foundation that we can give him. It is a struggle sometimes and I am overwhelmed but we are taking this day to day. 

As if that was not enough, we, as well as school officials, think that Jacob may also be on the spectrum, but more on the asperger's side. We are having initial testing done next week and we will go from there.  Jacob is a very bright child, however there is definitely some social behaviors that are not normal that he is exhibiting and some other nuances that have been bugging me that seem to be different behavior. 

And if THAT were not enough, my husband, at the age of 43, has been diagnosed with asperger's. To me that diagnosis only puts a name onto some of the quirks that Bill has. He is still the same person that he has been, but it helps to explain why he does and feels certain things certain ways. He has taken the diagnosis hard, but I have to remind him it does not change who he is. It just gives a name to his differences. I don't know what this means for him, but is something that we will have to work through and work with. When Bill called his mom to tell her, she denied that he was diagnosed and is in denial that he falls under the spectrum. 

I don't know what all this means, except it is adding a lot of stress to my life. These 3 men are the center of my life, along with my daughter, and I can only hope I am being the support that they need. There are times that I am frustrated, upset, anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, etc. by these diagnosis and what the future looks like. I don't know sometimes how I can handle any of this. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward because that is the only option I have. 

And if all THAT were not enough, my mother had to have a heart catherization done on Tuesday and she had to have a stent put in as one of her arteries was 95% blocked. She was very close to having her 2nd  heart attack. That scares me because I am so like her in so many ways and I know that heart disease can be hereditary.  Then you add in the everyday stress of busy job schedules and everything else and it is no wonder I am not an alcoholic. 

I am not really sure, why I am sharing all of this. I just need to get it out I guess.