Thank you and feeling a little better today.....
First of all, I want to say Thank you to all of you who left such sweet comments and words of encouragement on my last post. It has been an emotional roller coaster of a week for me and I think everything just came to a head. Your words of encouragement and prayer really lifted my spirits and helped me to see that I am not alone and that it is okay to be discouraged and overwhelmed. That just makes me human.
I know that I am overwhelmed because we are in the midst of figuring out what is best for the boys. As Mysti pointed out in her comment on my last post, it does seem like we are doing a lot for Benjamin. That is because he qualifies for these services through our local public school system when he turned 3 years old. He turned 3, April 2. It was recommended that Benjamin not start going to preschool in April for 2 months before summer vacation began. Instead we could have him receive the therapies for those 2 months if we were willing to meet up and take him to the different places. Then we would take the summer off, and in the fall he would enter preschool where he would receive OT, PT, Intervention, and Speech during the preschool hours. We felt that this was the action that was in the best interest of Benjamin, as I know how important early intervention. And honestly, Benjamin is doing great with the therapies. It is just hard on me...but as his mom, I will do what I need to do to help him have a great start to his life.
As far as Jacob is concerned, we are in the beginning stages of figuring out his needs. He has been having OT at school since November for a vision issue that we figured out and he is loving that. We have applied for a scholarship to get OT services for him next year when he is in Kindergarten. We will have to see what, if any, other services that he will need next school year.
It is just very, very overwhelming to comprehend and to live. I will admit that today I felt a little better and I think that is because I get 2 days off from therapy appointments. After Benjamin's OT and Speech appointment this morning, he and I spent the morning running errands and just hanging out. We went to Walmart, a local grocery store to get bacon and hamburgers and to Goodwill. I just needed to focus on other things and just veg for a bit.
Part of being a mom is also not neglecting or forgetting about Rebecca. Mysti, thank you for pointing that out. I am trying to make an effort to spend at least a little bit of each day with her one-on-one. She is my social butterfly, so I am trying to make sure that we are allowing her to do things she enjoys including being involved in American Heritage Girls, playing softball in our local girls league and just doing other things with her to make her feel special.
I am trying to be a good mom, and I hope that I am doing enough. One thing I do know is that I will not become an alcoholic because of this. I drink maybe 1 alcoholic drink every 6 months, that is just not my thing. I do need to figure out how to deal with stress though without eating chocolate and carbs! That is my vice. Just have to figure it all out.