Things are just not going in a good direction. There are so many areas of my life that I feel discouraged in that it is not even funny....maybe if I get it out there in black and white then I will feel better about it.....

1. My weight....I have so fallen off the wagon on this diet. I feel like such a failure and I feel like I am depriving myself. Which is not the case at all. I just don't want to eat healthy stuff, when I would rather have chocolate, chocolate and MORE chocolate. I don't feel like drinking water--I have gotten back in the habit of drinking diet pop and sometimes regular. I haven't exercised in like 2 weeks. I just don't want to. I know I should. I know that it is for the better if I do, but I don't want to.

2. My depression---I think it has gotten worse in the last few weeks. I feel like I am in a rut big time!!!!! I find that I am going to bed earlier at night, but tossing and turning all  night long. Things are affecting me more than they really should. I am getting annoyed rather easily with Bill and the kids and then I feel guilty and bad.

3. Finances---I thought that I had a better position at the school that I am working at for next year, however I was told yesterday that that may not be the case and that they may actually go in another direction. urggg....Just frustrating.

4. One car--- I know many people/families survive with only one car. We have actually had only one car now for a little over a year. When Bill's died we couldn't afford to get another one and we said we would make due. It is frustrating trying to figure out logistics of only having one car. For example, I am trying to figure out when and how I can go to either the funeral home or the funeral for the mother of a good friend of mine without someone having to miss work or skipping a previous engagement that I have to be at. It is frustrating. Also tonight I had 2 light bulbs blow in the living room and we are out of light bulbs and I don't have the car to go to the store to get some. Granted it is my fault for not getting any at the store but still. I had to go scrounging around the house looking for some.

5. My hubby's work schedule---I LOVE that my hubby loves his job. However, during sports tournament times I NEVER get to see him and he HAS to have the car (see #4) to travel....

6. Miscellaneous--- I haven't made a menu plan for this week. I am letting my kids watch too much tv. I still have tax stuff to do and I think we will owe for municipality tax for our old city. I miss having girlfriends that live in town to do stuff with. I have too much STUFF in the house and I WANT it OUT!!!!!!

Okay so there is my whiny thoughts for the day.....I guess I should work on one at a time and go from there.


  1. I'm here, I'm listening. I completely understand #'s 1,2,3,4,5 and heck even 6!
    We went for almost 1 1/2 years with one car on the verge of breakdown. That expense hit us in Ocotber 10. 1K later it was finally fixed in February. WTHeck?
    I haven't worked out since lest fall. No energy, stress beyond belief. No motivation. Feeling like blah!
    Not eating healthy- since food costs so much here lately and fruit and veggies ruin even quicker than before. In 2 days my strawberries, pineapple and grapes I comped were ruined. My fiance works 2 hours away for 12 hour shift sometimes more. So 16-18 hour days every day. Leaves before sun up and isn't home til sun down.
    I've said it before, if you ever need to vent. I'm around.
    Oh and expenses, our laptop pretty much is shot, so we had to dip into our savings to buy one. It was a boat load of money. But I figuered quality over price this time. Hopefully we won't have our wrists and arms shocked by this one. Or sparking or smoking or burnt chargers (we've went through 3!)


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